IS YOUR FIANCE A JUST MAN?

Have you ever sat down to analyze the kind of man you want to say YES to?

It's not enough to pray "Oh Lord, give me a husband".
 In this present age, I'll say there are many kinds of husbands and one needs to be careful when making a choice.

The question you should ask yourself is, what kind of husband do I want to marry?

I hear pathetic stories and I wonder if some husbands have an iota of human feelings in them.

Then I say to myself, " people can only express who they truly are, not who they are not".
That's why a thief steals and a murder kills, because its just in their person to do so. They are just living out who they are.


I know some ladies will jump at saying "he must be cool, calm and collected, he must be rich  and established". While those are cool stuff, they are not the major.

When you focus on the minor and abrogate the major, you lessen your potential of achieving more.

So ladies, back to the subject matter.
You meet this guy, he is all nice, flashy and sweet mouthed, has some currency and you suddenly shout in relief "hmm at last" without checking to know some necessary things about him.

Many divorce situations would have been avoided if a  proper check on the vitals were executed.

The Bible speaking in the Gospel according to Matthew chapter 1 verse 19 says "JOSEPH, HER FIANCE, BEING A JUST MAN, decided to break the engagement quietly, so as not to disgrace her publicly (NLT version).

Joseph had every right to end the relationship and make a show of his fiancee because he thought she broke the commitment , but he choose to respect and protect her.
He didn't beat her or abuse her verbally.

From that verse I could say the following:
-Joseph was a peaceful man.
- He was responsible.
- He was not violent.
- He knew what loving a woman really entails.
- He was godly etc.

I'm reading your mind.. Lol
You are saying "but IdGreat, nobody is perfect except Jesus Christ".

I get it sister, I'm not saying he should be perfect.
What I'm saying is check HIS VITALS.

When you go to the hospital for check up, there are options of checking only certain organs or your entire body.

The doctor will not make prescriptions until the result of the examinations are ready.

That's what I'm saying sweetheart, do a check.
Do not enter blindly and think you can run out.

Even if you do, you will be leaving with a baggage of memories that will hunt you forever.
So what should you do to know if he is a just man like Joseph.


1. ASK QUESTIONS

There's nothing like too much question when you are courting. This is because courting is for interviews.


Answers exist only to question and it's  better to ask a question than to remain ignorant.

Ask about every possible thing and be careful to listen in between the lines.

 Before I said yes to my sweet husband, I wrote a list of questions I needed to ask and  trust me he answered them all.

If a guy tries to avoid your questions, it shows a danger signal.

Entering into marriage carelessly is very expensive. Do not try it.


2. DEPEND ON THE HOLY SPIRIT.

One prayer I prayed was " Holy spirit reveal this man to me".

Who told you you can monitor a man?

Hmm, you are not omnipresent neither are you omniscient, but I know someone who is.
The Holy Spirit. He can dig out the vitals of men..
Go to Him in prayers.

3. TALK ABOUT EVERY POSSIBLE THING.

Let me tell you a short story.
 During Nysc, I met this promising looking guy who was quite interested in me.

He was handsome, of course I liked the physique. He worked in Lagos while I was in Ekiti.

I brought up a discussion about premarital sex and I got the shock of my life.

 He said he cannot do without having sex in a relationship, that if I do not want same, he will just have flings but he would not paint it on my face, like I won't be aware.
I bid him goodbye ASAP.


My life is not for "cabu- cabu(gambling). Just imagine what will happen in the marriage.
Saying yes to this kind of man means I've signed an approval for adultery.
Not me bros,check the next door. Lol


Sweetheart, do not waste your meetings with careless discussions. Be deliberate.

Plan what to talk about, write them down so you would not forget.

You might say, "IdGreat, is that not too serious"?

My sister, your life is serious business. Those who joke with life, never live to tell the story.
In having discussions, the person's mindsets, beliefs, character, principles are revealed.


Areas you can talk about/ asked questions in.

- Spiritual stand in matters such as giving, services, prayers, counseling etc
- Parenting
- Finance
- Sex
- In-law integration
- Plans for the future
- Conflict resolution
- Recreation etc

Alright, I hope this has blessed you.
If it has, remember to share and leave a comment.

Stay Blessed and Resourceful.
See you next week.

With love
IdGreat Adegoke.